10 Signs Your Marriage Can Survive the Affair
Can you save your marriage/relationship after cheating? Here are 10 signs your marriage can survive the affair.
Or what are the signs that the relationship is over?
The good news is, either way, you can do what brings you the healthiest safest results. Download my free Win-Win Affair Survival.
The other good news is that many couples save their relationships after infidelity and rebuild stronger bonds together.
An affair for them meant that for while the relationship was being mishandled and now the affair serves as a wake-up call to start taking the right steps to a healthier and more meaningful partnership.
Feel free to jump right to my quick, snapshot review of infidelity coach Dr. Huizenga’s Infidelity Recovery Center or the more in-depth review here.
*Are you the betraying spouse/partner looking to make amends? [Click here] to read my blog posts
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10 GOOD Signs You Can Save Your Marriage After the Affair…
…including the relationship for non-married couples
1. Cheater Felt Sorry for Hurting Affair Partner
How could the marriage survive the affair if the cheating partner does not feel sympathy for breaking their wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend’s heart?
And how much empathy do they feel? Do they really understand HOW this affects their partner’s trust and outlook on life and relationships?
2. Displays Remorse for Hurting You
Not only does he or she feel sorry, but they voice their displeasure in their actions. They, in the beginning, while they may not know exactly what to say, attempt to communicate with you why they still value the long-term relationship they originally committed to.
*Note to Hurting Partner*: No one wants to live their entire life alone, jumping from one partner or lover to another. It goes against human nature. I know this raises questions of why they did it in the first place. If you’re the wife or girlfriend check out my frequently read blog post 10 Reasons Cheating Men Stay Married (or in the relationship).
3. Takes Responsibility for Actions
I do believe that relationships are a two-way street and that both partners can neglect each other’s needs. This is why communicating fears, needs, and anxieties is super important. So, that you know how each other feels.
But a great sign that your marriage can survive after the affair is when the betraying partner begins to look inward and identifies that they created pain for others and themselves with their choice of actions.
4. Does NOT Hurry Your Grieving
If you read about others infidelity stories or how cheaters react after getting caught then you’d see that the ones who do not display empathy, sympathy or regret want to just move on fast.
If they truly care about you then they will want you to grieve. They know they made a mistake and want to take the appropriate steps to rebuild trust after their affair.
5. Has Difficulty Saying “No”, Doesn’t Like to Reject
Some people do not like to let others down. This includes what happens at the beginning of an affair. When the cheating partner could see that the “Other Person” had fallen for them, they may actually have understood the dilemma that they had gotten themselves into.
But they don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. Sounds crazy, right? But this is the mindset of a pleaser. They don’t like to disappoint even when they know they shouldn’t keep going.
Your “pleaser” partner, could have realized they made a mistake when they saw how emotionally connected the “Other Person” felt, but didn’t want to let them down just yet.
I believe a “pleaser” can feel remorse for cheating and can still see the value in your relationship together, thus, work things out and go through the steps to rebuild trust.
6. Confessed to the Affair- Didn’t Get Caught
Confessing to the affair is different than getting caught. If they came to you to confess, that would show that they likely feel the pain of their actions. But it definitely shows that they value their relationship with you.
Now it’s time to go through the steps to reconnect and identify how to build a stronger emotional bond.
7. Ended the Affair and Cut Off Contact
Do they emotionally still feel something for him/her? If they want to rebuild your marriage together then they need to ELIMINATE temptation.
How?
By cutting off communication with the “Other Person”.
Cutting communication off with the other person is a solid sign that the cheating partner means business. It shows that they want to put the past in the past. The next step is for the cheating spouse to take action steps to rebuild broken trust with you.
8. Affair Partner Domineering Personality
Have you considered that the cheating partner may have gotten in over their head? And then they keep going because they don’t know how to safely end it?
If the cheater’s affair partner has a domineering, Type A personality then it could make the cheater feel trapped and uncertain.
In this case, this would be a sign that your marriage can survive after the affair because the cheater can see that they made a mistake that they regret.
9. Good Person, But Neglects Their Own Needs
Affairs do not happen in the moment. Instead, they happen as a result of neglect of their own emotional needs. or mishandling of their feelings.
In some cases, it won’t matter because the cheater is a narcissist or sociopath, the problems run much deeper and require lengthier therapy and professional help.
But in other cases, a good person with good intentions can neglect what they need and then end up meeting someone who listens and seems to naturally get them.
It’s hard to resist someone under these circumstances, but the affair could have been avoided if they paid more attention to their feelings.
Maybe the needed to speak more direct with you about what they need you to do. Perhaps they have other life aspirations that they feel they’re missing out on, but fear you will oppose their pursuit of them.
Either way, it’s their responsibility to manage their own emotions and how they handle them. Cheating only creates a new problem. It doesn’t resolve one.
10. Revenge Affair
If they feel a need to get back at you by cheating, then that’s just a sign of their anger and that they want you in their lives.
Is that the healthiest way to handle an affair? Probably not.
But it does show that they do not want something with this other person.
Either way they broke your trust and you both need to work on the steps to recover from the damage of the affair.
Get Help to Save Your Marriage After the Affair
…Start TODAY!
If you both agree to get professional therapy together to rebuild the broken trust and a stronger emotional bond then I highly recommend checking out marriage and infidelity coach Dr. Huizenga’s online Infidelity Recovery Center (click here to scan the benefits of the IRC here).
In the Infidelity Recovery Center, you will find online resources to deal with the pain, how to confront your cheating partner/spouse in ways that avoid begging and belittling yourself and how to get the betraying spouse to consider the damage they’ve done and the predicament they placed themselves in.
(Or check out this mini-online course to get your spouse to change and STOP the affair if the cheating still persists).
==>[Click here] to get information directly on the Infidelity Recovery Center’s site.
