10 Divorce Survival Tips after an Affair
What divorce survival tips would you suggest ?
Hello everyone Orlando here again from InfidelityFirstAidKit.com. Here’s my second entry for my new journal section. So here’s a quick list I produced in my head while driving to share with you all.
If you experienced anything like I did after my wife both cheated and abandoned me you can identify with the feeling of loss of purpose.
You want to talk about feeling alone and “shipwrecked” on an island, that was it, but as I always say to everyone I know, “With every loss there’s gain and with every gain there’s loss.” So life somewhat evens itself out.
Her leaving me without any regard for my feelings or what I did to provide her new opportunities while she adapted to her new life in another country could have sent me spiraling down the rabbit hole into an endless dark abyss, but it didn’t.
Well, at first I admit I felt pretty sad, but it didn’t last and here are my secrets.
In my opinion in order to survive a divorce, especially after an affair, you must boost your own self-esteem and confidence while searching for a new hope.
What do you possible gain from divorce and affairs?
Freedom. You can now do whatever the hell you want.
So what you might say?
I just traveled 5 times in one year. For me that’s a lot! I started a new career and also started this blog (kind have got lots of time to write the posts for you too).
This is time for you to spend on you. Yes, you. The one reading this post right now.
So before giving you a more specific list of divorce survival tips here are my 3 mindset keys to move on alone past a divorce and affair: 1) boost self-esteem, 2) rebuild confidence and 3) search for new hope.
10 Divorce Survival Tips for Post Affair Victims
1. Seek the Career You Always Wanted
You saw the movie “Office Space” (love it) . You hate your job. Have for years. But you couldn’t change due to (fill in the blank) while you were married. Now you can.
I wanted to enter real estate (be it part-time), but I got my license and I send referrals to a team of agents in Keller Williams. I do no selling and get paid for sending referrals to them. I got my real estate licence online. So what career do you want to pursue now that you are free?
2. Travel
He wanted to go to the Caribbean, you wanted to go to San Francisco and Wine Country (good choice by the way). Now go! Go where you want to go. Take your best friend. I have gone to one of my favorite cities San Diego 3 times in less than 12 months and even wrote my most popular post about the serial cheater profile (and some of the subposts to it) sitting in the lobby of the Grand Hyatt (the tallest building in SD). I sort of love hotels. That leads to the next point.
3. Become a Blogger
Writing heals the soul, at least for me. You don’t have to write about infidelity. Blog about your hobbies, wine tasting, running, baking, traveling, etc. Check out my post about blogging to recover from midlife divorce (I plan to create more in-depth posts how to get started in blogging).
4. Take Up that Hobby You’ve Always Wanted
So you’ve wanted to learn Spanish or play the guitar, but you always found excuses not to. Now you don’t have excuses. You need to heal. Find time for yourself again. Taking up a new hobby (or reactivating an old one) provides you a purpose to get up every day. Trust me blogging for this site provides a purpose for me to help you. Now go start that hobby.
5. Start a Business
A small business on the side is a hobby with a way to make money. I started a vending business a long time ago. It helped me get out of debt and do some traveling too. How about that dog sitting business you’ve thought about or piano lessons instructor, mobile car detailing, pet grooming, resume writer, DJ- the list never ends. Oh, yes, by the way, you can earn money blogging too!
6. Coach Kids Sports Team
I loved running a softball team in my company’s large league. I’ve never coached a kids team, but I know some of you dads (maybe moms too) could use a new endeavor to get your minds off the divorce. Mentoring kids will force you to stay strong and maintain composure.
7. Work in Disney World Over the Summer
Ok, so let’s say I know a little about this one (ok a lot).
If you have the means to miss a summer (maybe you are a teacher back home) and have the means to pay for rent while living here (yes, I live here in Orlando) you can apply online and get a job in the parks or hotels over the summer.
Believe I know not everyone can pull this one off, but thinking outside the box and doing something a little crazy can lift your spirits up.
You’d work here seasonally and could come back each summer. I know a teacher from Texas that does this. Want a way to escape reality (literally- it’s Disney) to get your mind off the divorce?
Come work for Disney and enter the parks for free whenever you want. This has got to be one of the most unique divorce survival tips you’ll find online.
8. Do the Thing You Always Wanted
Again, it’s your time. Wanted to attend a World Series game, go to the top of the Eiffel Tower, walk on the Great Wall of China, go on The Price Is Right? Find a way to make it happen. I personally can’t wait to get back to Wine Country this fall.
9. Get a Puppy
The point to divorce survival tips is to create hope, a new life. Taking care of a puppy (if your schedule permits) provides a home and a new best friend who will give you unconditional love.
When I cheated and separated from my first wife I let her keep the puppy. I knew he would keep her company.
10. Move to a Vibrant Part of Town
That’s exactly what I am doing in a few months. I want to forget where her and I lived. I do not want to sulk in sorrow and think about our times together.
Time to move on, literally. I can’t wait to write more posts at the nearby Starbucks by SeaWorld. You can actually see the new coaster and the Kraken while seated.
Bonus: Meet new men (or women)
I am not saying date yet if you are not ready, but start making friends with the opposite sex. Strike up a conversation with that cute girl at the coffee shop or the same guy who always visits the same convenience store near you. I’m actually thinking of real scenarios of people I know that have done this.
***I Need Your Opinion.
What is one of the best divorce survival tips you would like to share?
(Leave your comment at the bottom of this page after the “Related Articles” section.)
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