Ready for more of my men decoding tips to learn how to create an emotional bond with your man?
To do this you must be willing to learn the needs that matter most to your man.
I will show you a blueprint in this blog post.
And all you’ll need is your cell phone.
Are you the kind of lady that needs action steps to create an emotional bond with your man, not just theory?
Then keep reading.
In fact, this post came from one of my emails that I send to my subscribers. I get more replies to this email from my subscribers (on how to write text messages that help their man open up and want to take steps forward to connect emotionally) than anything else on my blog.
Normally, I prefer to stay away from one-size-fits-all solutions.
But in this case, it works- all the time!
However, let’s be clear on one very important aspect.
What I am about to reveal and cover is meant to be used on mature, quality men who want long-term love and companionship.
It will not work on any other men.
Well, at least not for long before they want to cheat or leave the relationship.
The Secret Weapon to Create an Emotional Bond with Your Man
If he feels you care about him as a person then he will want to do anything possible to please you so that you spend more time with him.
The truth is that it is not that much of a mystery.
In fact, I first discovered this power in one of the most powerful books regarding how to create deep emotional connection with people (nothing romantic- just connection with fellow human beings) ever written: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
It’s also a texting technique called Appreciation Texts that I fully believe in and has been used on me by the women in my life.
It comes from the strategic eBook Text the Romance Back designed to earn a man’s trust, get him to open up and share his feelings with you.
(*Feel free to read my review here, but if you decide to buy a copy of it then get my bonuses with purchase. Get the information on my text message bonuses package here.)
This secret weapon has stared at you in the face the whole time.
Give people respect (even when they may not deserve it) and recognize them for what they like about themselves.
Basically, show that you really care about learning about the feelings that make him who he is.
And he will trust that you have his best interests in mind.
Find the answers to these questions:
- What are the things that he wants to accomplish in his life?
- Why does he want to accomplish them?
- Basically, how is he attempting to pursue his own happiness?
If he feels you care about him as a person then he will want to do anything possible to please you so that you spend more time with him.
By default, he will want a relationship with you because it feels good to be around you.
He will naturally care for your needs and feel true empathy for you.
Bottom line: he’d feel safe being his true natural self around you.
(Of course, this all only matters if you like these traits and qualities about him.)
Your
goal to build this emotional bond STARTS with you…
Learning to identify his core emotional needs both
personally and in relationships and thus making it
easier for him to open up and expressing himself.
Then
you’ll use that knowledge in your choice of words and actions with him.
For the sake of this blog post, in your text messages to him.
Flirting vs Creating an Emotional Bond
Both are extremely important but
I’ve discovered a big obstacle many women run into.
They focus too much on what turns him on instead of what he needs for the long-run, then wonder why he disappears
Yes,
we prioritize looks.
And of course, we like flirty, lady-like behavior.
But those only get our attention, they do not satisfy our
long-term needs.
In a moment we will look at three core emotional needs that make us feel safe
in relationships.
First, let’s look at an analogy that illustrates the difference between what turns on a man versus what makes him feel a deep emotional bond.
Attraction that comes in the early relationship stages is like curb appeal in real estate- it just gets you to the front door.
The Real Estate Analogy: Attraction vs Deep Emotional Connection
Attractive looks and flirty, playful behavior are important but think of these attributes as “curb appeal“.
In real estate “curb appeal” focuses on how attractive the house is on the outside (paint job, decorative front door and garage door, landscaping, etc.) to get people to want to see what’s on the inside.
But if the inside of the house does not suit the needs of a prospective home buyer then what happens?
They move on to look at a different house.
Because after all, you live inside the house, not on the lawn or front porch.
The same thing happens in the dating and relationship world.
Your looks, flirty ways or conversation openers make it more enticing and easy to approach you…
….but it’s how you treat and talk to us after that helps us decide if you are the right partner for us.
So, let’s look at some of those emotional needs that create an emotional bond with men today in this blog post.
I plunge into more details of these needs in my eBook for sale: “Next Level Connection: 3 Principles to Create Deep Emotional Connection with Your Man”
[Download] Your Free 5-Texting Gifts Package [Click here] to see the List of Free Gifts
But let’s take a glance at them here.
3 Core Emotional Needs that Make Us Feel Understood and Appreciated
(with Sample Text Messages to Send Him)
I. Feeling Good Enough for You
We want to feel that you like us for who we are and that what we offer fulfills you.
When
we think this way then we feel safe because you will not feel the need to seek
another man to replace us.
This is an absolute fear of ours.
A relationship-minded man wants to feel that you find his qualities attractive, appealing and unique to him.
Much like you do, we want to feel liked for who we are without being asked to change.
And when you find unique features that you only find in him it shows him that you take a deeper look at him, that you are paying attention.
Here is a list of the traits or deeds to recognize in your man to create a deeper emotional bond:
The personality traits that we feel people like about us.
A specific physical attribute unique to your man
We want to feel that we can protect you (if necessary) from financial, emotional or physical harm. (Do you know how to tap into his need to feel like a hero?)
- Ambitious spirit
- His attractive physical attributes unique to him
- Cute mannerisms unique to him
- Strong decision-making skills
- Ability to overcome adversity
- Understanding your needs and how to please you
- How fun we are to be around
- Our sense of adventure
- Caring nature
- Being a good dad
- Natural leadership skills
- Talent to inspire others
You see?
Many of these are deep character qualities.
These are our human-character building blocks.
Or qualities that stand out to you that make us feel unique and special.
They make us who we are.
How do you suppose we’d feel if you recognized these traits?
View more of these character qualities and values; personal achievements in my blog post ABCs of Irresistible Romantic Text Messages to Send Men
Try out these next texts to create an emotional bond using examples from the above list:
Text Messages that Compliment His UNIQUE Physical Attributes
You: How do you do it?
Him: Do what?
You: Melt me with that cute laugh of yours?
This goes beyond simply complimenting his body. This is more special because only he can own his laugh. This text makes him feel like his laugh in one-of-a-kind.
OR…
You: Umm, yum. I saw something that makes me blush every time.
Him: Oh yeah? What?
You: Your beautiful deep brown eyes when you look at me. They get me hot and bothered.
Other UNIQUE physical attributes to recognize to create an emotional bond with your man:
- His deep, manly voice
- Manly walk
- Eyes
- His scent
- Strong hands
- His Smile or grin
[MORE] Related Ideas:
- His soothing massages
- His soft, romantic hugs
- The way he grips your waist when you walk
Text Messages that Compliment His UNIQUE Personality Traits
You: You know that you have an irresistible sexy combination, right?
Him: Ha, ha no. What is it?
You: Your high intelligence and soft, gentle side.
OR…
You: Sweetie, thank you for cooking dinner last night. You really get me. You take time to learn what I like.
Him: You’re welcome honey. I really want to make you happy.
Other Personality Traits to Recognize that Create an Emotional Bond with Him
- His effort to make you feel attractive
- His effort to make you feel loved
- Hard-working nature
- Thanking him for helping you
- His problem-solving skills
But in order for a relationship to remain on solid ground, we need to feel like we reach our potential as a man.
This happens when we can build a legacy, chase our dreams and collaborate with you to build a safe haven to share together. That’s why we need to look at how to create an emotional bond with us by learning about…
II. Our Need to Feel Supported to Chase Our Career and Personal Aspirations
We want to take on the challenge of fulfilling our desire to achieve and win plus build a support system for our loved ones.
One of the ugliest standoffs in relationships is when couples fight over a shared vision of each other’s pursuit of personal or family goals.
Compatible visions between partners lead to harmony and peaceful coexistence. While disagreement leads to routine fighting, bickering, blame, and mistrust. Here’s a post on my blog I wrote about incompatibility challenges in relationships.
Here are some examples:
- To win and compete
- Career choices
- Choice of friends
- Desire to be a leader
- Personal aspirations (travel, play competitive sports, learn a new instrument)
- Change of career path (if it arises)
- Pursuit to build wealth
- The desire for self-improvement (physically and mentally)
- Need to create side-hustles (if they arise)
- The desire for recognition (career promotions and awards, when we do something nice for you, make the right decisions, personal achievements, win rewards or prizes, etc)
Now check out ways to create an emotional bond by showing your support with these text messages.
Text Message that Show Your Support of His Pursuits
You: You know what I admire about you?
Him: No, what?
You: You go after the things that matter to you. You’re ambitious and don’t give up easily. Quite an attractive trait.
OR…
Text Message to Show Support of His Friendships
You: Has anyone ever told you that you are an excellent judge of character?
Him: No, ha, ha. Thank you, but why do you say that?
You: You know how to choose good friends with solid character.
OR…
Another Text Message to Show Support of His Pursuits
You: I know you have a tough decision, but I think you should go for the promotion.
Him: Thank you sweetie, I appreciate your support. I needed to hear that because I am nervous to make the change.
You: I want you to feel like you can do anything that you set your mind to. Don’t live with regret, just go for it.
If we don’t feel safe being our true natural selves and becoming the man that we desire to be, then we will feel that you impeding our growth and get in the way.
But one of the best ways to create an emotional bond with us is to get a good grasp on this next need of ours…
How to respect our personal space, reputation, relationships and help us protect our identity.
Let’s look at it here…
III. We Want to Feel Respected
At the end of the day, we can feel appreciated, loved and supported, but the #1 need ALL of us man share is to feel respected.
What does that mean?
It means that we want you to respect us in the way you speak to us,
treat us and also respect our personal space boundaries.
This one is huge.
If you step over your boundaries it can become challenging to undo the damage.
So, how can you respect your man?
Check out these lists:
We Want You to Respect Our …
- Relationships with friends, relatives and co-workers
- Personal space (alone time and in our relationships)
- Special talents (speak another language, play an instrument
- Time and schedule
- Feelings (show empathy and sympathy when things do not go well: we hurt too)
- Desire to resolve the mistakes we admit to (show flexibility when we hone up to our mistakes)
We Also Want You to …
- Keep expectations realistic and achievable
- Show vulnerability and ask for forgiveness (when warranted so that we get along)
- Seek resolution and peace; find ways to work things out
- Give us your complete attention when we have something important to say
- Ask us for help and advice
- Stick up for us when others attack us, have our backs
- Attempt to agree on long-term relationship goals
And here is what…
We do NOT want you to …
- Use manipulation to get what you want
- Speak negatively of the people who matter to us
- Put down the things that matter to us
- Talk negatively about our character or personality traits
- Push restrictive relationship roles on us without discussing them
- Advise us on how to be a man
- Compare us to your exes
Now here are text messages you can send him to show your respect.
Text Messages that Support His Friendships
You: Honey, it’s fine. I’ll go to the concert with Sara. You haven’t done Poker night in a long time. I want you to go.
Him: But I know how badly you wanted to go with me.
You: Yes, but it’s more important to me that you maintain your guy friendships. We can go to another concert together.
OR…
Text Messages that Show Vulnerability and Flexibility
You: I’m sorry for ripping into you last night. It was wrong. I know that your intentions were good.
Him: Thank you for understanding. I thought it would make you happy, but I understand your point.You: Honey I was wrong to get upset. It really is your thought that counts.
As far as what to avoid saying that could cross the line and push us away I highly recommend the following:
- Do not discuss deep matters over text (instead, do it over the phone or in-person- apologizing is fine).
- Do not argue over text.
- Do not criticize over text.
- Do not complain over text.
It can become too confusing over text messages and can make the problem worse, or create one when there was no problem to begin with.
Summary: Texting to Create an Emotional Bond with a Man
Making flirting part of your normal repertoire will get a lot of positive attention from men.
It comes in handy to turn your man on too.
But over the long haul deep emotional bond carries more weight.
It makes your man feel more unique and appreciated.
We want to be recognized for that uniqueness, supported in our pursuit of ambitions and above all be respected.
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What is a simple text to send a man to create an emotional bond with him? (Leave a comment below).