The Perfect Boyfriend [Checklists] : The Ideal Blend of Chemistry and Compatibility Traits
Let’s pretend that we went on a hunt together in search of your Perfect Boyfriend.
The objective, of course, is to find your ideal, long-term mate.
And let’s face it, you’ve already played this game before, but you’ve lost more times than you cared for.
It will be sort be like shopping for shoes.
Except not like you’ve done in the past where you leave the house with a just a vague idea of what you’re looking for.
Then you just try on several pairs to see which one looks and fits the best only to find out later that the shoes don’t quite look right with the rest of your outfits and squeeze the sides of your feet.
Instead you ended up with “buyer’s remorse” with an overpriced pair of shoes you had to take back and wasted another grueling afternoon trolling 5-10 different stores in search for new ones.
Sound a little bit like your love life?
No, this time we will act like talent scouts.
We will list out the most ideal qualities to create the perfect boyfriend.
Then hereafter anytime you run into the ideal candidate your “boyfriend radar” will beep out of control to alert you that you just may have identified the right guy for you.
No more trying on boyfriends for several months or, ugh, years to see if they fit.
Let’s try to get it right from the first date.
But where do we begin in search of the elusive perfect boyfriend?
Many of the most notorious dating and relationship coaches for women like Evan Marc Katz will say this search begins by creating a list of ideal traits.
This list should comprise of compatibility and chemistry characteristics that would describe the ideal candidate for you.
That guy would the one who participates and shares with you a mutually satisfying long-term relationship that wouldn’t end with your heart broken, break-up, divorce or an affair like many of the women who visit my site have experienced.
So what’s the difference between the two: compatibility in chemistry?
Compatibility versus Chemistry in Relationships: What’s the Difference?
What are the traits that you need to satisfy you now and for the long-haul?
Let’s admit one thing together: the hardest thing about relationships is finding someone you like who in turn likes you back.
That’s really the first thing we look for- and for some of us it’s the only thing.
Simply most of us tend to keep our eyes peeled for the person who turns us on and who we turn on.
Essentially that’s what chemistry is: when two people are turned on by each other and share electric emotional energy together- sort of like a bonfire.
And how does that strategy turn out for us?
Just how is supposed to and nothing more: some hot dates, thunderous-bed-rattling sex, movie nights, dancing and a whole lot of other memorable times- for a short bit.
However, not for the long run.
It doesn’t end in finding the perfect boyfriend or in a healthy relationship that lasts.
No, instead it ends up in fights and break-ups.
The Titanic Voyage
Who wants to waste time in a dead-end relationship?
Doesn’t it make sense to get it right in the beginning?
Relationships mostly based on chemistry will smack headfirst into a thick wall and come to a sudden end.
Much like the Titanic voyage, the passengers lavished and lived the high life until the ship met its fatal blow with the iceberg.
The ship and its trained crew were not ready for the long-term voyage.
Likewise, many of the relationships we enter are not built for a long-term voyage either.
However, at the same time without a promise of some fine wining and dining the ship will never embark from its dock.
No one would want to go on a boring cruise, right?
And without sparks flying and some kind of blood-boiling emotional attraction your relationships will never jump out of the starting blocks either.
You need both a degree of chemistry and compatibility to exist between you and the guy to increase the likelihood to achieve relationship success.
Therefore, before we setting off to master some of the techniques and strategies to hook a man like discussed and recommended on my site here, I wish to remind you of a phrase.
I live by this phrase now after many failed relationships: “Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it”.
Know what your perfect boyfriend will look like.
He’s the one who will make the best fit for you in the long run.
Fall into the temptation of sticking with the guy who only turns you on and pay the consequences of long-term suffering like several of the women who visit this blog.
To illustrate my point of relationship chemistry take a peek at another analogy.
Sweets and Snacks Analogy
We all love flavorful food.
You do, I do.
However, much of the food that tastes great conversely is not healthy.
I love potato chips, particularly salt and vinegar.
And I also love cookies. Sugar cookies are my favorite.
But can you imagine how gross I would feel if I ate nothing but sugar cookies and salt and vinegar potato chips?
Spinach, on the other hand, happens to be one of the healthiest superfoods, especially in its raw form without being cooked.
Raw spinach tastes like s—.
If I simply ate spinach several times a week, I’d feel cleansed, energetic, not bloated and I’d fulfill my body’s need for essential minerals and vitamins.
But what are the chances I’m going to do that for a long period of time?
Like none and none.
And neither would you.
My point is that no one will successfully maintain a long-term relationship by focusing on extreme levels of either chemistry or compatibility (which we will get to it a bit).
A guy will not have a happy marriage with a trophy wife and likewise a woman will not enjoy a long-term relationship with a handsome, highly successful narcissistic prick.
You can’t live on cookies and cake without getting an upset stomach.
Nor can you dine on kale and quinoa every day for an eternity without vomiting just thinking about shoving that s— in your mouth just one more time.
Sure, we will fall for the people who turn us on, but enter a relationship with them and it’s highly likely that the “relationship voyage” will end up hitting an iceberg just like the Titanic at some point and sink to the bottom of the sea metaphorically speaking.
Dramatic?
Yes, a bit.
But point validated.
Remember we are looking to land as close to the perfect boyfriend as possible.
Therefore, we need the perfect blend of traits that make you hot for a man and deeper qualities that will lead to a long-term healthy relationship (or suffer painful consequences).
What do those traits and qualities look like?
[Chemistry Checklist] Traits and Qualities that Get Your Heart Pumping
If you’re not attracted to him. It won’t work. Which attraction and chemistry traits drive you wild?
Never feel ashamed of your preferences.
Accept what you like and you will be rewarded for it.
Adopt the preferences of others because you fear what others think of you and pay the consequences of wasting time with the wrong guy.
If what you like happens to go with the common social opinion then so be it, if not then still so be it.
For example, I’d say most men like thin shapely girls.
So do I.
But I also find chubby girls absolutely adorable.
For me if she can exude lady-like traits then it doesn’t matter what her body type looks like.
The same may be for you.
You might find tall guys hot.
In fact, that might be your number one preference, but you also find a short man with a high-level of confidence in himself just as appealing.
Therefore, know all the qualities that tend to draw your attention.
Think of them as ingredients.
When you combine different ingredients then you end up with a different recipe and final dish.
Your main goal with the following lists is to find the perfect boyfriend recipe for you that will lead to a guy who in the end tastes great, but who also is healthy for you- so that you don’t get sick.
Create your own list, but here are some ideas to help you complete it.
Physical Attributes and Other External Qualities
(to Find Your Perfect Boyfriend)
Customize this list by adding more specific details to it.
- Facial features
- Height
- Hairstyle
- Body type
- Eye color
- Eye shape
- Body language and body movements
- Walking style
- Dress style
- Fit of clothing
- Facial hair
- Smile
- Laugh
- Teeth
- Hands
- Fit
- Body hair
- Hygiene
- Pitch of Voice
- Home cleanliness and organization
- Home decor
- Automobile
- Financial stability
- Social standing
- Social circle
- Hobbies
- Job
- Talents
- Interesting Possessions
Character and Personality Qualities
(to Find Your Perfect Boyfriend)
- Enthusiastic
- Confidence
- Intelligence
- Empathetic
- Manners
- Good listener
- Caring
- Thoughtful
- Sense of Humor
- Ambitious
- Observant
- Gives genuine compliments
- Elegant
- Kind
- Composure
- Courageous
- Determination
- Humble
- Honest
- Trustworthy
- Dependable
- Reliable
- Loving
- Passionate
- Moral Integrity
- Faithful
- Fatherliness
- Generous
- Understanding
- Open-minded
- Romantic
- Sexual
Can you add to this list?
Please do because it is your list.
Prioritize what matters most to you whether by using a scale of 1 – 10 or with simple tick marks.
I’d also highly recommend adding more detail to certain qualities.
For example, if you prefer taller men, what does that mean for you?
Does that mean well-above average height or just that they are taller than you?
Now onto the qualities that matter most to help you identify your perfect boyfriend: compatibility traits.
You can find a man with all your top-tier traits from the above lists, but if they do not display your top-tier preferences from the next list then you will not last as a couple.
I’d say the first lists on their own would help lead you to men with whom you could land a handful of dates or yield short-term relationships.
Yet, combine those sets of traits with the next list and you will increase your chances of finding a true soulmate- long-term boyfriend and possible husband.
What is Compatibility?
The first list of physical and character qualities pertains more to what the man can offer you, but the list of compatible traits and qualities relates more to what both of you can share together.
Compatibility deals more with how well you both align together which in essence is what the word compatible means.
How well do you two fit together like a foot slipping into a shoe?
[Read 15 False Soulmate Signs: How to Recognize Toxic Love]
[Finding the Perfect Boyfriend]
[Compatible Checklist] Traits and Qualities that Support Mutual Long-Term Satisfaction
What long-term compatible traits would your perfect boyfriend possess?
The bottom line is: do they bring out the best in you?
So, let’s pretend you started to date someone, you began to like them, you both mutually decided to start a relationship and now you want to determine how long it could last.
Is he long-term material or not?
Could he end up being your husband?
Even if you have currently not gotten to this stage yet, it makes sense to start considering what you would look for in an ideal spouse.
Compatibility does not necessarily mean having things in common it just means how receptive you are of each other.
Just because you both like sports would not be enough to invest in a long-term relationship if you both fight like cats and dogs because you care too much to be right.
How likely are you to get along is the key question.
When things get a little ugly how likely will you resolve your disputes?
And how well do you tolerate each other’s differences?
Therefore, look for these “perfect boyfriend” qualities and possible future husband.
Similar Love Values
What makes you feel loved? Do you need words of affirmation, to be physically touched or do want him to do things for you that you need help with? And then vice-versa, do you reciprocate the same treatment based on what he needs to feel adored?
Support
Are you supportive of one another in good times and in challenging ones?
Acceptance
You do not try to change one another to benefit your own needs.
Similar Life Goals
Do you both want to have or not have children? If so, can you agree on how to raise them? Where is your ideal place to live (in a city, countryside, suburb, in a house)? What are your travel intentions?
Style of Settling Disputes
Can you work out your differences?
Teamwork
How likely would you both share the workload of chores and important tasks?
Sacred Details
Can you keep intimate details between you two? Or can one of you not keep a secret and instead shares them with family or friends?
Sexually Compatible
(Not for those who hold off to have sex after marriage) How satisfied are you with one another’s behavior in bed?
Relationship Attachment Styles
Is one of you needy and dependent on the other? Or are you both independent and can function on your own without over-burdening the other? Does one feel a need to manipulate the other to get their way?
Empathy and Sympathy
How empathetic and sympathetic are you to each other’s needs, concerns, problems and desires?
Acceptance of Odd Imperfections
How receptive are you of each other’s imperfections, quirks and habits? How receptive are you of one another’s ways of being without it blowing up into a fight?
Open-mindedness and Flexible Thinking
How supportive are you of their ideas and values? Or do you have to be right all the time and get your way?
Apologetic and Takes Responsibility for Mistakes
Can you both accept responsibility and apologize when appropriate?
Expressiveness and Effective Communication Style
How well can you each explain your thoughts, ideas and feelings? Or do you misunderstand each other quite a bit?
Respect of Personal Space
Do you respect each other’s personal space when one of you needs alone time?
Similar Lifestyles
Are you both home-bodies or are you more adventurous? What do you like to do for fun? What kinds of vacations do you like? Do you even like to travel? Can you share in hobbies or other interests together?
Intellectual Level
Do you match intellectually? It could be difficult to hold meaningful conversations with someone who does not enjoy speaking on similar deep or analytical matters.
Ambition
Do you share a close level of ambition? Or does it seem like you constantly need to motivate him? (Or the other way around)?
Emotional Timing
Do you both even want a long-term relationship now which comes with sacrificing other life pursuits?
Single?
Yes, it sounds crazy to ask this, but is the other person even available? Many people share chemistry despite one being- MARRIED! Trust me I receive emails like these from my visitors.
Core Values
How well do you tolerate each other’s values?
Addictions or Behavioral Disorders
Do you or your partner have any ongoing, untreated, or mistreated issues that if left the same could negatively affect your relationship for a long time?
Financial Goals
How do you both value and handle money and other financial matters? If you differ in approaches could this lead to tumultuous disaster?
Perfect Boyfriend Checklists Summary
Do you see how this list would support the long-term health of a relationship, especially a marriage?
Falling for someone who sends shockwaves up and down your spine and gives you the butterfly flapping feelings in your stomach will only last so long.
Then one day you will feel full and not want to eat anymore of what they are serving.
Numerous lustful nights of passionate, ass-thumping love making (sounds hot, right?) cannot make up for the name-calling, face-slapping, book-throwing fights you cannot seem to avoid.
Don’t fall into the temptation of eating a whole bag of candy just to end up with an upset stomach in the morning.
Do NOT commit to the wrong person just because you’re hot for them…
…unless you want to risk ending up in a dead-end marriage or worse…
…end up in an affair-stricken relationship like many of my viewers to my blog InfidelityFirstAidKit.com.
Flames burn out, flickers linger on.
