10 Ways of How to Spot a Sociopath (and Why You Must RUN If You’re Dating One!)
Before we look at how to spot a sociopath and look at the signs of sociopathic behavior, let’s just face the truth that finding you’re ideal mate comes down to numbers. You’ll find a slew of studies of the odds of finding true love. They all differ a bit in their scope and data. This study in the UK claims to have found that on any given day you have a 1 in 562 chance to find your ideal mate (if you simply leave everything up to fate and luck).
But one thing is for sure, that you’re guaranteed to meet many of the less-than-ideal people. That’s fine and normal. You make friendships along the way, learn about yourself and move on closer to finding someone who makes a good match. Nothing dangerous there. But what about truly dangerous people lurking online to take advantage of good people. This happened to my ex who met a man online who successfully manipulated her into loading up her credit cards to pay for his debts.
It got me thinking. How many of my subscribers and visitors encounter sociopaths along their journey to finding new love?
In this post, I want to help you be ready on how to spot a sociopath. That way you improve your chances of identifying if you are dating a sociopath (or at least if you’ve met one, to stop before you start anything serious with them).
First, let’s define what a sociopath is.
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What is a Sociopath?
The scientific term for sociopathy is Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) per the American Psychiatric Association. The APA defines an Antisocial Personality Disorder as “the presence of a chronic and pervasive disposition to disregard and violate the rights of others.” Furthermore, these “Manifestations include repeated violations of the law, exploitation of others, deceitfulness, impulsivity, aggressiveness, reckless disregard for the safety of self and others, and irresponsibility, accompanied by lack of guilt, remorse, and empathy.”
This may seem easy and obvious to identify this destructive behavior, but that’s not always the case because one of the traits of a sociopath is their ability to charm and persuade others to do what they want out of selfish reasons.
Learning how to spot a sociopath may require doing some investigation and keen observation. And I offer some recommendations on how to spot a sociopath by digging deeper by running a background check with the help of Truthfinder (if you deem it necessary to take this extra step).
Regardless of how deep you want to dig to find out if you have met or are dating a person with an Antisocial Personality Disorder or even someone who is just selfish, you deserve the right to stay safe in your relationships.
If something feels off and just not right, then consider getting away from this person. The point of relationships is to find the right match, which includes finding someone with whom to feel safe and comfortable regardless of whether they have an actual disorder or not.
==>Click here to spot sociopathic behavior with Truthfinder such as hidden social media accounts or secret dating profiles, deep financial problems they hide, or lies about where they’ve worked and lived.
Signs You Might Be Dating a Sociopath
These are the dominant characteristics of someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder. Before we discuss how to spot a sociopath, keep these traits in mind and compare them to many of your own personal observations of the person in question. No one of these traits alone signifies that you’re dating a sociopath, instead, look for several.
- Lack of empathy of understanding how others might feel
- Lack of remorse after hurting someone else
- Pattern of impulsivity
- Use of charm or charisma to manipulate others
- Compulsive liar
- Backstabber
- Aggressive in behavior or aggravates others to aggression
- Lacks respects for other’s personal boundaries or property
- Does not commit to long-term plans (perhaps only discusses them as a form of manipulation)
- Steals
- Neglects safety of self and others
- A pattern of immoral behavior
- Severe mood swings- quick to anger, easy to excite
- Lack of personal and professional responsibility
- Shows pattern of breaking the law- no regard for social norms or rules.
- Not investing in the lives of others
- Intimidating or threatening others to get their way
- Taking risks at others’ expense
- Threatening harm to themselves to win over sympathy in order to manipulate others
- Destroying their own property or possessions
- Being a hedonist and living the YOLO lifestyle
- Travels for business a lot and turns off their phone for long periods of time
As you can see, these are all negative and harmful types of behavior. Regardless, if you can clinically diagnose someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder or not, ask yourself, is this someone you want to tie your future to?
Now let’s look at ways that you can investigate someone you feel could be a sociopath or at least dangerous and risky enough to stop investing your life into.
How to Spot a Sociopath
Your main objective to determine how to identify a sociopath you’ve met in online dating or IRL, is to spot habitual lying, breaking of the law, financial problems, or a combination of these. Again, no one sign determines if they are a sociopath or if they have bad intentions with you. Take everything into consideration and use your best judgment. The most important thing is NOT just figuring out if they have a problem, but rather do they pose a threat to you and can you find someone better suited for you in a relationship.
1. Dating App Profiles Under Different Names
For someone who places their needs above others and without feeling remorse to hurt others. Expect them to indulge in self-entitled behavior. One example of that? Cheating and flirting. A sociopath may very likely seek affection and/or sex with people outside of the relationship. Running a background check with Truthfinder can help you find a cheating sociopath’s dating profiles on dating apps under different names other than their actual name. Truthfinder can link emails that you don’t know exist that he/she may use as user IDs to sign up for dating apps or sites. It can also locate dating profile pics or social media pics showing the person in question in the arms of a lover. (This is how I discovered my ex’s pics with her lover).
Run a background check here with Truthfinder to find a sociopath’s secret dating profiles. Just fill in their name on the next page to start the process.
2. Job History
Perhaps they embellished a bit on their career experience. Did they actually even work in the field they claim to? Do they really have the lengthy experience that they say? If you could catch a liar in their tracks would this information help you make a safe, life-altering decision?
3. Education
Where did they say they studied? What if you knew that they went somewhere else or that they hadn’t studied at all? Catch a sociopath in their lies. Protect yourself.
4. Location Changes
Excessive moving can be a red flag on how to spot a sociopath who seeks out new victims to dupe. Truthfinder can uncover previous known addresses and timelines.
5. Married or In Other Relationships
How would you feel if you found out that your “dream partner” actually was married or was in a relationship with someone else (or possibly even multiple other people)? While Truthfinder will not pull up marriage licenses it can unearth secret social media accounts and photos that show them with other people. (I found pics of my ex on vacation with her lover when she claimed to be back home visiting family). It can also show possible known relatives which could show you a potential list of their children and wife which then could match up with the photos in the social media accounts. Click here to unearth hidden social media accounts and his/her pics with their spouses or lovers.
6. Financial Problems
What if you knew the man or woman charming you was a fraud? If they claimed to be financially sound, but you discovered that had liens on properties, recently filed bankruptcy, or had businesses that bellied up? One of my exes met and ended up marrying a man who lost a lot of money in previous failed business ventures. Running a background check before committing to him, having kids, and buying a house together could have painted a different picture than the rainbow-colored one he fed her. Protect yourself. Do not get involved with a sociopath with financial problems looking to take money from you or use up your credit cards. Click here to run a background check to uncover their financial problems.
7. Owns or Rents Property with Someone Else
Does his or her name show on a lease or deed? If it does then it could mean that they’re married, have a mistress or paramour; or that they have family members that they’re hiding from you for some reason. A background check can tie names, phone numbers to leases or deeds.
8. Criminal Records
What worse situation could there be than to find out your “saint” has broken the law more times than he claims or committed some heinous crimes that he or she hid from you? Truthfinder can reveal serious crimes like grand theft, assault with a deadly weapon, battery, kidnapping, rape, cruelty to animals. Even a long list of minor offenses like traffic violations could indicate that you’re dating a sociopath because of their knack for taking unnecessary risks and a lack of respect for the law. Find out if they broke the law. Click here to run a background check.
9. Owns Property Far Away- Lives Elsewhere
I’ve had some subscribers to my newsletter tell me how they met men who didn’t even live locally like they were led to believe. Instead, they were married in a house in another state. The cheater would two-time between their spouse and lover in which neither woman would know what’s going on. They’d tell both women that they were going away on a business trip.
10. Other Vehicles Owned or Leased
Are they hiding something? Why would you hide the fact that you have leased or owned multiple cars? Why not just be transparent?
Summary of Determining if You’re Dating a Sociopath
The whole point of dating and relationships is to find the right match. Does the right match involve someone who lies, steals, and manipulates? Trust me when I tell you that there are some truly sick people out there that will do anything to make you feel sorry for them and then rip out your heart. I’ve read many sad stories in emails from my subscribers or those who have left comments on my blog posts.
Learning how to spot a sociopath is the first big step in determining what to do about your relationship. Just remember you should gather up enough evidence, take note of peculiar behavior, or a pattern of displaying a lack of character or moral compass.
A background check cannot guarantee to find the evidence you need. Every person’s situation is a little different. Also running a background check today can only unearth what has happened up to this point. You many have to run one a few times over a long period time to see if new evidence pops up.
Keep track of his or her strange behavior and DO NOT JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS. The decision may not be easy to stay or run. But if things just flat out feel off, then you might not need that much evidence anyway.
Just don’t wait to make a decision before it’s too late!
Ready to find answers? Click here to run a background check. Just fill in their name on the page to start the process.
