Make the First Move on Men? [Question]
An Email Series for Decoding Men’s Strange Behavior in Dating and Relationships
In this blog post we look at another popular question that my subscribers ask (or wonder to themselves): “Should a lady make the first move on a man?”
I love this question because when you think about it, the answer reveals itself.
How?
Think about these scenarios IRL (In Real Life: seeing an attractive man at the supermarket, Meetup event, convention, conference, walking around the neighborhood lake, coffee shop or at work):
- Every day you take the same leisurely stroll and a few times a week you run into the same handsome man with an electric smile.
- How many times do you visit the same supermarket a month? A bunch, right? But a recent grocery run to pick up some milk and bread stood out from the rest. A different man in a jogging suit with shapely arms and a stunning set of eyes shook your very existence to the core.
- You found the last three work conferences extremely boring, except for the gorgeous, energetic man sitting close by. Wow! You still get goosebumps while day-dreaming about him.
- And what about that new transferee to the office? Well, he’s not that new. He’s been there three months. Every time he passes by you have to hold on to an object fastened to the wall so that you don’t faint.
And in the end, the result was the same with each of these run-ins…
… nothing happens.
You didn’t (or haven’t) talked with him.
Maybe a “hello”, but certainly no contact numbers exchanged.
No conversations.
No dates.
Listen, if you are talking to a guy right now, forget that for a moment.
ALSO, if you primarily meet new men via dating apps or online dating, STILL pay attention, because you could find your Mr. Right with the advice and insights from the next two emails/blog posts.
Do you have a crystal ball? Can you predict the future?
Well, I can and I predict you will miss out on meeting men if you continue to let these men in the above scenarios pass you by.
You could meet Mr. Right ANYWHERE at ANY TIME.
So, pay attention Ms. I-Only-Meet-Men-Online.
I want you to ask yourself a few questions…
- How many times have you encountered these moments described above just this year alone? How about in the last 5 years?
- Do you have ANY idea how many times you’ve passed by handsome, quality man prospects?
Let’s face the truth of what happens.
These situations happen over and over again.
They come and go and nothing happens.
You miss out and so does he.
He didn’t make a move, but neither did you.
Someone’s got to make a move.
So, the simple answer is “YES!”, there are occasions where YOU, the lady has no choice but to make the first move because if NO ONE makes a move, nothing will happen, just like nothing happened in these situations.
And in a moment, I am going to let you in on some secrets that will shock you, but at the same time, give you hope.
In the blog post that provides the advice to this one, we will look at how to make some first moves under a few of these circumstances, how to exchange contact information and then contact each other later and possibly even get a date.
Let’s continue you on with a question that I know you’ve wondered for a while.
Do men mind if you make the first move?
You wonder about this because you’ve heard throughout your life that men love to make the first move, we love to “hunt”, and so forth.
And there is a lot of truth to that.
However, there are times when we will not make the first move and yet there are other times when a woman makes the first move AND we instantly fall for her.
Yes, instantly fall for her because 1) how sexy it is when a woman does make the first move, and 2) the fun, irresistible manner in which she did it.
Of course, this will take some time to discuss, and we will do that in tomorrow’s email.
I will even include some of my own personal stories and those of friends and family.
Plus, we will look at those times when men do NOT like when you make the first move.
For now, let’s discuss…
Reasons Why Us Men Will NOT Make the First Move
I consider myself pretty bold. Let’s just say that I am not afraid of approaching strangers, but even men bolder than me do NOT always approach women EVERY time.
And here’s why.
1) We’re intimidated.
This could be for various reasons as well.
- You are with a group of girls and he is alone or with just one other man.
- You are not paying attention AT ALL to other people around you. Your head is planted in a book, you’re staring at your phone or lost in your earbuds listening to music.
- You look over, but give NO “green light” signals that say you’re interested in the slightest bit and definitely not “Hey, I want to talk to you.”
- You seem overly shy. We may not want to scare you or approach a woman who we predict might shun us just because she does not have the confidence to engage in conversation.
- Then the opposite, you’re too outgoing and talkative. Nothing out-of-the-ordinary with these last two (shy or outgoing). I’m just telling you how we might feel when coming across new women we’ve never met.
- We’re just not in the mood to make a move, even though you’ve caught our eye.
- The circumstances would force a very fast in-and-out interaction rather than give us time to talk and get your number.
These are just a few that come to mind. And just for the record, I’ve run into all of them before AND I’ve approached women in EVERY ONE of these types of situations AND I’ve also at other times decided NOT to approach.
Here’s another explanation of why we do not make the first move.
2) We don’t NOTICE you.
SHOCKER right?
Don’t guys notice ALL women?
Um, for the most part, yes.
We are pretty much always looking.
BUT we are human, other distractions come up and we do NOT notice all women, even in a work environment sometimes.
I can tell you that in your lifetime, there have been no less than HUNDREDS, probably more like THOUSANDS of times, that a man that YOU would have LOVED to meet, did NOT make a move because of one of the two reasons above.
[Click Here] for the ANSWER Part 1 of How to Make the First Move on a Man.
In this blog post, I will arm you with the ammunition to get his attention while keeping your self-worth and respect.
It’s just too much to cover in one blog post.
So, [click here] and we will begin to discuss the answers to the following:
- Under what scenarios should you make the first move?
- When do we men like it when a woman makes the first move?
- What makes us instantly fall for her when she does?
- What happens when we do NOT like her making the first move?
- How can you avoid rejection (or at least limit it) when you make the first move?
- How can you exchange contact information, communicate later with him and possibly get a first date?
That’s exciting stuff, right?
And it’s a lot to cover, so that’s why I need to split it up into a few blog posts.
Thank you for being a valued subscriber.
Orlando
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