My Husband’s Mistress’ Email and the Scary Secret I Discovered

Jaime

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Here’s the tale of my husband’s mistress and the discovery of his affairs. One night I caught him emailing his mistress about another past lover of his, while he was rocking our baby to sleep.

Yes, you read that right.

My husband’s mistress was asking about his past lovers while he rocked our baby to sleep.

In one fateful blink of an eye I discover my husband is a serial cheater.

Here’s my infidelity story.

Can you relate? Feel free to leave your comments at the bottom.

So, I’m downstairs waiting for him to come down to watch a movie. I had planned a movie night for us after the kids were put to bed. It’s a Friday night.

At that point I’m desperate to get his attention. He had been acting so distant. For months.

We were so disconnected. 

If you already caught your cheating spouse and want to heal and possibly even save your marriage then click here to check out the Infidelity Recovery Center for 24/7 access to online resources. (I wish I had access to this when I discovered my husband’s affair).

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I thought fixing myself would bring him back to me.

I went on a diet. Started working out. Finally lost the weight after having three babies. I bought new clothes that fit great.

Everyone was complimenting me.

Except him. 

I even bought color-enhancing contact lenses to make my already green eyes stand out more!

I bought pheromone perfume. Maybe he’d sniff his way back to me!!! 

I bought sexy lingerie. Crotchless panties! I was acting like a young woman falling in love trying to seduce her lover for the first time! 

Instead, I was trying to seduce my husband of 13 years!

It kind of worked. We were sexually active again. It didn’t feel intimate, but I took what I could get to reconnect. But I didn’t realize…

I bought sexy lingerie. Crotchless panties! I was acting like a young woman falling in love trying to seduce her lover for the first time! 

More sex can be a red flag

In those last months before catching my cheating husband, we were having more sex than we had in years.

After three kids, it’s hard to find the energy and the time. I thought it was the way to get back into his heart.

And he was interested. So I took advantage of his interest. 

But I was still longing for that emotional connection that seemed to be lost.

I thought some quality downtime together would help. Hence, the movie night.

So there I am downstairs, with the movie set up and a bottle of red wine ready for us.

This is going to be our time to reconnect, not just sexually.

I long for a romantic night in. To snuggle and just enjoy each other’s company.

More sex can be a red flag

Like we used to.

But what the hell? 

He’s taking way too long upstairs. Something doesn’t feel right.

Suddenly a voice pops in my head.

For months I had been checking his emails

I had been obsessively monitoring them for months to find something suspicious. My sixth sense screamed the whole time that something wasn’t right.

I checked multiple times a day. Nothing showed up. Ever. Not once. Totally clean. 

(BTW if you’re partner uses secret emails you could find them with the help of Truthfinder)

But still, for months, I knew something was off.

I was intent on catching my cheating spouse. 

As I’m sitting there waiting, I suddenly get the urge to check his email.

But this time it’s more than an urge, it’s a COMMAND!

CHECK HIS EMAIL NOW!!

I open my phone and there it is…the email.

From my husband’s mistress.

Asking him about a prior mistress!

WHAT??!!

My mind is BLOWN! My heart is SHATTERED!

I was trying to get that secret out of him for years. Things felt off in the past too. It didn’t take her long to get it out of him.

Was it an emotional affair or physical?

When we discover our spouse is cheating, a lot of us want to know if the extramarital affair is purely emotional or physical, or both.  (If you want to heal from the pain of their affair on your own time 24/7 click here for information on the Infidelity Recovery Center– you won’t regret it.)

I didn’t have to ask. The email told me all I needed to know…

Here’s the Email from My Husband’s Mistress When I Discovered He Was a Serial Cheater

Either way, it hurt. Knowing he had a physical affair with one woman, and now an emotional affair with another hurt just as equally.

One is not less painful than the other. Not for me, anyway. 

Confronting my serial cheating husband…

Now was the time I felt to confront my serial cheating husband.

So, he comes downstairs and I ask him to shut the door and sit down.

I feel sick to my stomach, but I remain calm and stoic at first. I want him to know I’m strong enough to handle what is about to come my way.

I begin to demand answers from him about his mistresses. ALL OF THEM! Answers he was reluctant to give me before. I run through a list of questions. 

Then…

He FREEZES! 

Completely silent. 

Of course, I don’t give away my source of how I caught my husband’s mistress. 

He needs to sweat it out.

I yell and scream at him for answers, even though the kids are asleep upstairs. Nothing else matters to me right now other than the truth.

The truth is something that I had been seeking for MONTHS at this point. 

For months, any time that I could get a hold of his phone (usually while he was in a very deep sleep which was rare), I would quickly scan his call log for unusual phone numbers.

I’d then look them up using Truthfinder.com. Who did these unfamiliar phone numbers belong to? (Find out who your partner contacts HERE with Truthfinder)

Desperately trying to find the truth

I was desperately digging through social media, looking for any clues I could find.

Did he have a secret profile?

Was he on any dating sites?

Did he have a secret email?

He wanted to stay together

Over the next few weeks we attended marriage counseling together. 

He swore to me that the feelings he had for her were “fake” or just an “infatuation”. YAWN!

She was also married, with two kids of her own. GO FIGURE!

My husband’s mistress told her own husband the same story…that her feelings were not real. WHAT A SHOCK!

They both said it was a fantasy. A distraction from their mundane lives.

The truth was finally revealed…with the help of spyware

[Legal Disclaimer] Know your local laws. Using spyware on a phone you do not own can be illegal.

During therapy, more secrets came out. The trickle truth, as I learned it was called.

But I knew there was more. Even the therapist sensed he was holding back.

At that point, I was on a mission. To catch my cheating husband in all his lies over the years.

I needed to be in control.

I finally got a hold of his phone, with his permission. There was nothing to see at first. He was good at deleting things.

I purchased a subscription to a spyware program that would allow me to retrieve deleted information from the cloud between him and my husband’s mistress – texts, photos, emails, call logs, etc.

After the Affair … He Wanted to Stay Together

Most do check out Why Cheating Men Want to Stay Married

I needed to know EVERYTHING About My Husband’s Mistress and His Other Lovers!

With the information I found I could finally start to piece together a timeline.

I read the texts between them. I retrieved deleted emails.

I watched their romance unfold before my eyes, in a digital sense.

I was disgusted and felt so used and betrayed.

He romanced her the way I was longing to be romanced by him again! The way he romanced me in the beginning of our relationship!

I also purchased a GPS tracker that I placed under his car so that I knew where he was going at all times.

There was no way I could rebuild the broken trust after his affairs unless I saw that he was a changed man and worthy of it.

You deserve transparency

He didn’t like the idea of transparency at first, but I was firm about it. 

Doesn’t everyone deserve transparency in a relationship? I believe they do.

If your spouse is NOT transparent with you, that is a red flag.

Your spouse is your life partner. You are supposed to be ONE. That is the point of marriage.

You’re sharing a life together. And possibly children, a house and finances. 

If they don’t have anything to hide, they won’t mind sharing things like social media or email passwords. Or financial statements. 

Don’t you feel the same?

Get the answers you need to find the truth and to make a decision

At the end of the day, once you find out that your partner has cheated, like how I discovered my husband’s mistress and their emails, decisions need to be made.

Everyone’s situation is different but you can run a background check to find clues of cheating like secret social media pics of your partner with their lover, find dating apps they use for hookups, hidden social media accounts they use to communicate with their lover, possible evidence of shared bank accounts with their lover, other phone lines they own (either one for their lover or one each).

Find a way to get the answers yourself if they are being secretive. You’ll be glad you did.

You could save yourself many more years of obsessive worry and trauma.

*ATTENTION* If you already caught your cheating partner then learn how to heal from the affair, save your marriage and confront your cheating spouse with the Infidelity Recovery Center. [Click here] for more information on the Infidelity Recovery Center