Midlife Divorce Recovery: Writing Your Own Blog to Heal after Affair
Midlife divorce recovery is tough, ugh. You slide right into your 40s (or rocket towards them). It’s bad enough to worry about the normal concerns at this stage of your life. Things like staying healthy, your kids’ future, keeping competitive in your career and then ***BOOM***! The infidelity bomb strikes and explodes. Shatters your life to a million pieces.
Your mental GPS looks for direction, for guidance, it speaks to you. “Turn right at the fork. Beg husband (wife) to stay.” You come to your senses. Wait, you think! “I don’t want that lying, cheating bastard back in my life.” So your mental GPS reroutes, “Make a U-turn. Leave him.” Suddenly the thought of eternal loneliness smacks you in the face. I mean, you’re past “your prime”. Who will want you at your age? You reroute again, and again, and again.
You are lost. How can you survive infidelity?
My first ebook I wrote how I am surviving infidelity.
You discovered (or maybe you knew from the beginning) that not all married couples stay together after an affair. Yours didn’t, mine didn’t. And yet our mental GPS has no idea what route to choose. However, midlife divorce recovery did not stop me from moving forward after my wife’s affair.
How Writing Can Heal Emotional Pain after an Affair During Midlife Divorce Recovery
After walloping in sorrow for a few months. I needed a solution to stop the emotional pain. And the pain was not going away unless I made a change. I knew the likelihood that I would soon find myself alone divorced without a spouse was high. Repairing the marriage was risky once I discovered my character-lacking, broken wife was lost, became a serial cheater and eventual would abandon me.
The pain of her betrayal struck me hard. It sucked the life out of me. I might as well have auditioned for a part as a cast member on “The Walking Dead”. I became a zombie. I scavenged the internet for ways to stop the emotional pain. In a crisis you’re desperate for answers. I bought a couple ebooks how to survive an affair by Dr Bob Huizenga. I still receive his daily newsletter.
The decision I made next would change my life.
I decided to write my own blog to help those like you suffering from the heartbreak and suffering extramarital affairs cause. I knew I could make a difference in someone else’s life. I had some basic experience creating simple websites. So I would share my unique experiences with other fellow betrayed spouses.
An amazing thing happened.
The creation of InfidelityFirstAidKit.com became as much therapy for me as it does for you my visitors. The posts on how to catch a cheating spouse, or the ebook I wrote how to get through the first week of an affair provided me the opportunity to vent my frustration and to practice expressive writing. Blogging my thoughts to you released the venomous emotions trapped inside my broken heart. Sharing tips of how to move on after the affair gave me a purpose, a constructive avenue to channel my frustrations and help others.
I refused to make excuses. I would not let my cheating wife beat me. The writings led to research. The research led to answers to my own questions. It freed my soul. Mornings were brighter. The coffee shop visits increased as my fingers pounded the keyboard- my midlife divorce recovery underway.
So here’s my secret. Expressive writing could soothe your aching heart too like it does for me. Check out these articles too.
Writing could soothe your aching heart too like it does for me.
Read these Articles: Expressive Writing May Aid Midlife Divorce Recovery
Margaret Tratakovsky shares in her article on Psychcentral.com how expressive writing creates a connection between our minds and bodies by releasing the worries and fears we trap inside. I also came across another article about how expressive writing may induce behavioral changes and improve happiness.
Be wary though. Writing might not help everyone. People that relive the circumstances of how their cheating spouse committed the affair could hinder healing by journaling their deep thoughts. But don’t let that scare you. Like I said before expressive writing helped me find answers, but I’m not suggesting you write about the affair. I suggest something different. I suggest you write about something more positive- your passions!
Imagine connecting with the world, with anyone from anywhere at anytime through blogging. Tap into the power of the internet to help and meet people all over the globe. Find others that share the same hobbies or interests you do. Write posts, respond to emails, drop in pictures, create surveys, learn new ways to enjoy your hobbies from other bloggers ideas.
But what passions or hobbies could you create a blog about? Here are some examples of what others are blogging
5 Hobby/Passion Ideas for Blogging to Aid the Midlife Divorce Recovery Journey
Expressive writing about traumatic events creates an escape and a way to heal, but many of you just want to move on after the affair and separation. One of the best remedies for a midlife divorce recovery after infidelity is to reroute your attention towards more positive activities. You all have interests that you are passionate about. These are interests that you have enough knowledge or experience about to share and engage with others who enjoy the same level of excitement.
Just imagine you can have your own blog!
I’ve purposely chosen 7 types of hobbies that both women and men enjoy, four athletic and three creative. Read about why each hobby makes for a good blog. Each section links to another page which lists some real-life blogs run by other hobby enthusiasts just like you. I searched for blogs run by individuals or small teams who enjoy producing new content and engage with their visitors through blog post commenting and social media.
One thing you will notice when you decide on which passion to blog about during your midlife divorce recovery journey you can break down each passion into numerous smaller parts.
1. Wine Lover
I personally love wine and as it turns out, I’m not the only one (little sarcasm). However, not everyone enjoys wine the same way. Do you just enjoy drinking wine or discussing it’s different taste characteristics? Blog about popular chardonnay or cabernet sauvignon brands. Perhaps you’ve traveled to wine country in Northern California or parts of Germany, France or Italy.
Blog about the Sonoma County wine tasting tours you took. What about that winery close by you home town? Use expressive writing to share with your audience how your vineyard tour adventures made you feel after a long year’s worth of hard work. Add pics of the grapes you picked off the vines or rolling green hills that stretched for miles/kilometers out of site.
Everyone Loves Wine Reviews and Wine Guides
What about wine clubs? Write simple wine club reviews you are considering joining. You know some people love tasting wine, but do not know a thing about the different types of wine. Why not blog about the different kinds of wine? Create a wine types guide for the reds (cabernet sauvignon, merlot, pinot grigio, etc) and whites (chardonnay, riesling, sauvignon blanc, etc). Write details about the wine types descriptions and refer your visitors to popular wine tasting mobile apps to record the bottle images and taste qualities.
The Most Basic Wine Blog Idea
Or perhaps maybe you want to keep it real simple. Just share pics of your favorite wine bottles. Aren’t those designs works of art? How about reviewing local wine shops and wine bars. Each has a unique selection of wines and unique features and decor.
Even if you are not a wine expert you can still blog about your passionate wine hobby. Ask your visitors for input. Jump on other blogs like the ones below to comment on their posts and ask for their expertise and opinions. Or if you are a true wine connoisseur still check out the personal wine blogs below I found for ideas.
Create Your Own Wine Fan Blog? These wine blogs will assist a writer’s lover in their midlife divorce recovery efforts.
3 Wine Lover Fan Blogs
Joe Roberts is a laid-back, well, dude. His own creative wine rating system and writing style appeals to “more-laid-back” and “not too snobby” wine lovers. Joe understands exactly who his audience is by light-hearted humor and more comprehensible wine reviews.
Melanie Ofenloch admits she is no wine expert, rather just a huge wine fan. Finally after considering creating her own blog she finally realized that a regular, everyday person could write about and share their passion for the grape! This is the ideal passion blogger blog. Check out the dozens of her personal favorite wine bottle pics, restaurant reviews and wine reviews. Melanie shares with her fans her “thirst” for wine tasting.
Ryan is another avid wine lover who despite admitting to be no expert created one of the easiest wine review blogs to navigate. What I like about his blog is that he categorizes the wines by both type and price range. Save money and time by choosing which wines to purchase and avoid. Ryan offers a simple wine review system and his honest opinion whether to buy the wines or not. How does he find the time to personally taste all these wines? Take a peek for ideas about how to be a wine lover blogger.
One More Blogging Benefit: Part of the road back to normalcy during my midlife divorce recovery from my wife’s affair is the chance to learn from other bloggers and gather new ideas. I have learned so much about many different topics just creating this post.
2. Homemade Beer Brewing
With the explosion of so many microbreweries opening worldwide this hobby’s popularity trends upward. Microbrewing blogs are sprouting all over the internet. I had no problem identifying personal homemade beer brewing blogs run by small teams of people or single webmasters. What better hobby to have than one where you create something thought of to sell only in stores and then taste the fruits of your labor.
The topics to cover in a blog are plentiful from top home brewing beer recipes to the best beer cocktails. For the foodies share your best food and beer combinations and create a beer food pairing guide. See how beer aficionado bloggers share their opinions on home brewing beer kits. Creating your own blog is the perfect excuse to experiment with different kits.
Smaller is Sometimes Better
For smaller blogs I would recommend you specialize into subcategories of beers. If you laser focus your blog you’ll find it easier to write about and draw traffic to your posts. Homemade craft beer recipe reviews would offer helpful insight on the best craft beer recipes to try. And don’t just box yourself into just homemade beer. Consider suggesting your visitors to join the best beer of the month clubs. And don’t forget all those national and local beer events such as the San Diego Craft Beer Week.
Barrels Full of Beer Fan Blog Ideas
There’s just so many home beer brewing supplies and equipment, homebrewing techniques to review or create tutorials or videos, not to mention and brewing news.
If you love beer and want to heal from the pain of an affair, a homemade beer brewing hobby fits the bill. Continue the journey down your midlife divorce recovery path right here with this blogging hobby niche. You would have no problem networking and interacting with dozens of other microbrewing fans and fellow bloggers.
Need a hobby to ease the pain of your spouse’s affair? Need a boost to aid you in your midlife divorce recovery? Love beer? Wanna interact with other beer enthusiasts across the globe.? Check out these beer fan blogs.
3 Beer Fan Blogs
Focus: homemade beer recipes, beer brand reviews, brewery reviews
These four beer fans created one of the most eye-appealing, user-friendly blogs I have seen to date. Big beer icons ornate each category of their blog: homebrewing recipes, beer reviews, breweries and beer porn. It seems they haven’t posted as much content lately, but they still have engaged fans.
The big beer images make you salivate for a cool foaming glass full of homemade or local craft drafts. Gotta check out their picture recipe homemade beer brewing guides. Check out this one for homemade chocolate cherry stout.
The Brew Beer Blog even engages their fans to vote on the interviews the bloggers conduct with microbrewery owners. Their beer reviews are full of pics and their laid-back, funny writing style entices you to read from beginning to end. Hands down one of the coolest blog designs I have ever seen.
Focus: homebrewing beer picture guides, equipment and supplies picture glossaries
Speaking of guides. The Brew Geeks provide easy-to-follow, DIY picture recipes to brew up your favorite recipes. They take creative DIY projects to a new level. Back in the prohibition days Brew Geeks would have been thirsty brew drinkers best friends. They’re either creative geniuses or mad beer brewing scientists concocting tasty adult beverages on the kitchen table. Check out this starter guide home brew guide.
Picture recipes ease the pain and frustration of following directions from start to finish. If you’ve created anything from a recipe you know how confusing words can sound. Pictures eliminate the confusion. The Beer Geeks even make their own homemade beer brewing supplies. Check out how they made a carbonator cap.
Here’s their complete list of DIY beer equipment and supplies.
Experiencing information overload yet? I’m tossing piles of ideas on your head. The reason is I want you to feel confident you can create your own blog even if you are not an expert. Look at all the ideas in each hobby category here. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have any interest in that particular hobby. We are just brainstorming now. I do not expect you to be ready to start a blog yet, just to choose what you want to write about.
I suggest you begin to interact with other blogs before you start your own. Leave comments on their posts. The sooner you get involved doing something on the internet. The sooner you will distract yourself from the focusing on the affair. Distraction was key for me to accelerate my midlife divorce recovery.
Focus: brewery news and updates, recipe and equipment downloads
What better way to learn how to make homemade beer than from an actual brewery. Black Sands Brewery in San Francisco, California orchestrated a perfect blend of website and blog. The blog updates their fans with the freshest events and happenings at their Haight Street store. Fans have the opportunity to even download homemade beer recipes and a homebeer brewing basic equipment list.
Black Sands Brewery doesn’t just sell beer to it’s customers they support the most rewarding hobby in the world.
What hobbies are you most passionate about? Expressing your love for your special interests in your own personal blog could provide a day-to-day purpose which will aid you in your midlife divorce recovery.
This next hobby is special to me. It gave me opportunities few others can say they experienced. The confidence I gained from learning a language and the higher self-esteem I achieved as a result still help me now during my midlife divorce recovery battle. Whenever you can learn something as complex as a language it reminds you that you have the ability to overcome odds.
3. Learn Spanish
Now before you cry, “Hey, why just Spanish? Why not French, Italian or Japanese?” Allow me to explain. If you are from the United States than this is the second most spoken language. And from experience I can tell you that the only way you will learn to speak a language fluently, you must surround yourself with opportunities to speak.
You simply will not find enough opportunities to learn an entire language is you choose another language, at least in this country or unless your drive and desire to learn is much higher than the average person.
“How can I create my own blog about learning a language when I am learning it myself?”
Simple. You write about your personal journey to learn it. Share your successes. Recommend the tools, books and other resources that you discovered which helped you improve. Network with others online to learn and answer each other’s questions. Create directories of area groups, clubs and classes. Post questions both in your blog and other’s blogs. Invite and encourage feedback. Create videos and slide presentations about what you learn.
Take free online Spanish classes, create lists of online Spanish tutors, design beginners Spanish vocabulary lists organized by category (in the house, at the supermarket, body parts, colors, etc) or review online Latin music videos with subtitles. Review Spanish vocabulary, verb conjugations or translation mobile apps.
Others are experiencing the same excitement and challenges you are. So interact with them.
3 Spanish Learning Blogs
I can tell you I am very particular who and what tools I recommend to learn Spanish. So when I say I like a blog then you should check it out. Amit Shandillia’s friendly and light-hearted writing style ease the tension to learn Spanish. What stands out to me is how fun and user friendly his design is. He doesn’t just bore you with you gobs of grammar lessons instead he provides personally created relevant suggestions, tips and learning hacks to master the basics.
How will this help you start your own Spanish-learning blog?
Amit is an avid, obsessed Spanish fan. He shares his past and present journey to improve his Spanish skills. Amit’s blog Always Spanish presents the perfect blueprint how to create a blog for both the passion for the hobby while teaching others what he has learned up to today.
WOW! This is my favorite blog I have listed in this post so far. The perfect blend of dream come true, journey and engagement with fellow enthusiasts of the same hobby. Will Peach left his 9-5 London career to follow his passion to learn fluent Spanish in Spain. Will’s blog travels beyond just learning Spanish he guides you through the side streets, corners and cafes of Spain. Catch all the most exciting tips how to soak up the Spanish culture while offering first-hand, real life adventures how to learn the language.
Not just full of text, follow Will’s own self-reported progress report videos as he scours the streets to meet and interview Spanish natives- in Spanish of course!
So you want to learn Spanish and create your own blog? What easier way than to provide of list of other sites you use to learn the language? And that’s what SpanishBlogger.com does. Anyone who takes language lessons or is self-taught knows that there are 4 parts to learning a language: reading, writing, speaking and comprehension. Reciting a long list of vocabulary words does not guarantee you will understand a store owner tell you directions how to get to the nearest subway station. The list of resources stretches from video blogs to writing and grammar tip blogs to Spanish expressions.
Great example how to start your own blog when you are not an expert on the subject. Simple, but effective. Hobbies are powerful sources of energy and positive influence. I can think of no other more powerful combination to overcome your midlife divorce recovery after an affair than producing a blog you would be proud of while making new friends, learning or improving a new skill and sharing with people worldwide what you’ve learned.
4. Running
Now onto a physical hobby- running. Of the all the hobby blogs I researched to write this post runners seemed to be the most interactive community. Now I admit I do not have any interest in running (although each year I get a health check up the nurses say I should), but I know people that do. For all you runners reading this you understand how exhilarating and free you feel on your morning jogs. Above all I believe running boosts confidence and self-esteem.
A strong mutual appreciation and bond exists among runners. This is what makes blogging about your story, travels and journey to free your body and soul makes for one of the best blog topics for networking with fellow enthusiasts. Runners spill their hearts out through pics and stories of their cross country or global full and half marathon events. They share their secrets over their marathon training schedule and diet leading up to marathons in Boston, Denver or Walt Disney World.
Posting a headshot or themselves running is a common feature on most personal runner blogs. This provides a great way to introduce in a friendly, welcoming manner to your visitors.
Ever thought about expressing yourself to the world in your own runners blog? Want to share your tips and recommendations? Tell your story? What drew you into running? Why did you start?
Beyond your story runners appreciate ratings and reviews of equipment and supplies. Conduct reviews for running GPS watches, muscle recovery supplements for men and women, camera drones or jogging shoes and runner fashion apparel. The most trustworthy running suggestions and information comes from other runners. That’s what makes these runner blogs so useful.
3 Runner Blogs
Focus: race recaps, homemade recipes, life story
Sarah at One Blonde Bostonian connects with other fellow runners to express her passion as a runner and traveler. This simple aesthetically appealing design blog creates the perfect canvas for Sarah to paint her life’s story. As she travels the globe on vacation or to participate in races Sarah shares the pics she snaps on her journey. Wow! I’m jealous. Rome, Madrid, Monaco, Barcelona, Nice, San Diego, Key West, this girl loves to travel. Want some new training food homemade recipes? Sarah’s got you covered.
The perfect blend of passion for running , writing and interacting as guest blogger.
Focus: diet, workouts, recipes, yoga tutorials
Charlotte native Jen is a personal trainer, fitness instructor and yoga teacher who shares her passions through social media and her own personal blog- Peanut Butter Runner. One of the features that stood out for me that I have not seen on any other blogs is her picture menu galleries. Check out how Jen displays her choices for recipes (appetizers, breakfast, gluten-free, smoothies, snacks- to name a few) and workouts (bodyweight, cardio, homework outs and others). This a visually attractive and user-friendly technique to guide your visitors.
Focus: gear reviews, race reviews, race pictures, race medals, goals, race schedule
Jeff started out blogging about training then branched out to reviews (gear and race) and his daily life. I wanted to present you with a variety of personal runner blogs so here’s the chance to see how a fellow runner combines passion for running, blogging and providing insightful reviews. Check out his truthful Garmin Vivofit watch reviewor the rest of his gear reviews. Jeff even invites his visitors to email him to suggest items for him to review.
Now check out his Brooksie Way Half Marathon review. He posts his clocked run time, the number of participants, his finished place and age group. It seems like all this marathons are local (not everyone has the opportunity to race all over the planet so do not let the lack of world traveling stop you from blogging your interesting running story).
Your passion for running can help motivate and inspire others.
Speaking of running story, Jeff motivates others who feel intimidated to shed pounds by just getting out their and hitting the trails or pavement. He believes if he can do it- so can anyone! Your midlife divorce recovery serves a broader purpose beyond aiding you to heal after the affair. It uplifts others either going through the same emotional journey. You can also help others who need a nudge to live a healthier life through your mutual passion of running.
5. Dog Lovers
Your midlife divorce recovery, your best friend and blogging. Yep, sounds like a good combination. Can depression and sadness defeat you after staring at Princesa in the face as she smiles, barks then lathers up your face as if to remind you, “Don’t worry, be happy,”?
No chance.
That’s why I am excited to share with you perhaps the most uplifting blog topic of them all- pet lovers. In this case we will look at how you can turn your love of dogs into your own personal blog. From sharing your own journeys and pics with your own pet, I mean, best friend to providing tips to protect dogs, dog rescue tours and reviews, how to start a dog walking business, pet insurance reviews, dog training tips, dog skin allergy treatments, special diet dog foods. I could go on forever! The list of ways to express your passion for dogs is virtually endless.
3 Dog Lover Blogs that Caught My Eye
Focus: senior dog protection, dog adoption, dog events
If there’s one thing I discovered in the San Francisco Bay Area that stood out it is the Bay Area residents love for dogs. Sharon Castellanos’ blog Grouchy Puppy specializes in promoting the issues unique to big, senior dogs. Sharon’s doing something right. She’s got over 19,000 active followers and rising! She promotes area dog adoption events, tips to read and understand dog food labels (list # 3 from post: “How You Can Help Animals this Holiday Season), dog treats reviews, digital dog park photo community and an bottomless sea of useful and quite unique dog resources, stories, awards and tips.
Focus: animal rights, animal cruelty awareness
Deanna Raeke sets out to create awareness of dog cruelty and ways to protect man’s best friend. She’s receive nearly 80k likes on her personally run dog lover blog! Deanna extensively researches and scours the internet for articles related to toxic and poisonous items to dogs. Takes charge to introduce those unaware of the horrors of puppy mills. Lists numerous dog owner resources such as dog training, health and dogcare tips. Not all blog must center around the cute, fluffy stories, instead take a stand and share how to protect your dog so that you live the cute, fluffy stories to tell.
Focus: product reviews, training tips, dog ownership advice
Carrie never saw herself as a dog person until Berkeley landed (on all 4 paws) in her life. Clueless on how to care for her own dog Carrie scavenged the internet for tips for four long years and never felt satisfied with the resources she came across. So what did she do? She built her own dog ownership blog of course! She shares dog safety tips like why it’s important to buckle up your dog in the car or other unique dog ownership tips like how to deal with dog separation anxiety when leaving the dog at home all day long. She even added a few dog toy reviews.
It seems like she hasn’t been posting lately nor does she have a strong following, but I wanted to share how a dog fan can express to the world her love of dogs and how to run your own personal blog related to one of your daily life’s passions.
You can express your love and appreciation of dogs to ease the emotional pain during your midlife divorce recovery.
Summary: Writing, Blogging and How to Heal During Midlife Divorce Recovery
If you made it this far down the post then I know you are wondering how you can start your own blog. Don’t worry it’s coming. I will show you. It just will take some time to put it together. I will add smaller posts to start you on your path to tap into the power of blogging about your hobbies and passions to help you overcome the emotional pain of surviving affairs during your midlife divorce recovery.
I am on the same path just like you and blogging has given me a purpose. Let’s go on this journey together.
