Office Friendship to Lovers: Heading Towards an Affair?

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So the big question you’re asking yourself right now, can your office friendship turn into a full-blown affair?

I will never forget the day I decided to introduce myself in the hall. That turned out to be a life-changing decision, yeah, as in it changed a lot of lives forever.

A little more than a month later she was on my mind on the way to work, on the way home, in the shower, while cutting the lawn, she became an obsession. Finally someone I could just enjoy witout worrying about
fights, disagreements or plain old annoying bickering.

What could a little flirting with the cute office girl hurt?  After all, I wouldn’t talk to her again- so I thought!

But we did talk again.

Then we emailed. Then we emailed some more. Then she gave me a ride to my far off parking spot. Then we exchanged phone numbers. Then we met for coffee.

This office friendship began as all friendships do, with small talk: “where are you originally from?”, “why did you decide to work here?” and “what do you like to do for fun?”

How do you go from office friendship to office affair? (How can you avoid an office affair? Share your opinion at bottom of post.)

That was fine up to that point. It had happened a thousand times before with other women at work. Then things turned.

She began to share her frustrations about her husband and home life. She had no one else to talk to. Well, now she did- me. I lent an ear. She shared more. We bonded.

We were friends. It just so happened I had my problems with my wife at the time, and yes, I shared my stories with her too.

It all happened so fast. It seemed like a blink of an eye.

Sound familiar yet?

After that we needed each other. We energized each other. Every day held hope, hope we would see one another in the hall. Eventually we looked for each other. We couldn’t be without each other. So instead of addressing our home problems where they should be addressed- at home, we took the easy route- we cheated on our spouses!

And yes, the “office friendship” did turn physical.

Since that life-changing event in the hall over a decade ago I have met many people in similar situations, I have received emails from visitors and I have read about complete strangers’ stories on the internet. I don’t believe many have the intention of hurting their spouses. It just seems like a simple conversation, but when are you going too far? How does it go from office friendship to a marital affair? You look for the warning signs.

Signs an Office Friendship is Turning Into an Affair

Here are the signs I have experienced, heard and read about from others.

• You begin to open up about personal information regarding yourself that you would only tell your closest friends or family.
• You think about seeing him the next day while lying in bed.
• You can’t wait to email her to here from her in the morning.
• When you don’t see him at work you get sad.
• You think about her romantically. You wonder what it would be like to go out to dinner with her.
• He opens up about his life long goals and how he has sacrificed those goals in order to maintain his marriage and then you encourage him to pursue those goals.

All of these situations can lead to developing a support system for one another. This my friend could be leading you down a path with no way back. A path down a rabbit hole where you fall down out of sight. And many will not follow you, will leave you and not understand- nor want to.

Don’t you remember feeling the same about your wife or husband? Husband and wife are supposed to support each other, right? I miss that. Affairs end in loneliness.

So is it always dangerous to have an office friendship with someone from the opposite sex? No, of course, not, but it is risky. And once your heart starts beating faster and you start yearning for her
it can reach a point-of-no-return. You will not see your wife or husband the same.

I had a frustrating marriage for many years. We butted heads thousands of times. So how could I resist that cute, huge smiling face at work that only provided with joy and no pain?

Would you rather go to the beach or the dentist? I chose the beach. I chose the more fun way to deal with my frustrations.

Final Thought on an Office Friendship

It is easy to take the path of least resistance and it is easy to go from office friendship to affair. It can sneak up on you, but is it worth the price?

May I ask you an important question?

Do you have anyone to talk to? Are you afraid of what might happen? Do you feel alone?

I am here to help. Do not feel like you need to make any decisions right now. If you have concerns about your office friendship then I can help. Just fill in the contact form below and we can work it out.

Your friend,

Other articles about office friendships turning into affairs.

Family Relationships: Know the signs of office affairs

I Had An Affair With A Married Man And Was Caught By His Wife And A Camcorder