When it comes to relationship compatibility, we often tend to go in two directions.
The first one is that two people are perfect for each other when they have many similarities.
On the other hand, everyone knows that the opposites attract each other.
So what is the truth, and how do you know if you and your partner have all the ingredients for the perfect relationship compatibility?
Similarities = boring = no compatibility
Yes… but mostly Not!
Just because you and your partner have many similarities, it does not mean you will get bored of each other at some point. If you like the same food, movies, books, share a hobby and a flat; there’s no guarantee you will get tired of all that harmony.
It means you’ll have a few subjects less to argue about.
No two people are the same, so similarities are only percentages. You are still different, and sooner or later you’ll find where the similarity ends.
Opposites = chemistry = passion = love forever
Yes… but mostly Not!
I bet you want me to finally make up my mind, right?
Although most of your favourite romantic movies and books are a pink example of how important is to be as opposite as possible, reality will tell you different.
The opposite is interesting and exciting.
It is the spark that keeps your relationship fire burning. On top of that makes you feel like a movie character – ready to prove the world you two are meant to be!
So, where do we draw the line of the successful mix of similarities and opposites?
There are more than a few points in your relationship that you should match so you could have the proof of compatibility in your relationship.
[Read 20 Soulmate Signs: How to Recognize True Love]
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Sex
I know that’s the first one that came into your mind, so let me please you and put it as a first one here as well.
Compatibility in the bed is more than important for your relationship harmony. Having the same or close to the other’s preferences when it comes to intimacy is essential.
You wouldn’t feel comfortable if your partner’s sex drive wakes up five times a month while you’re ready for the action five times a day.
Ok, I overreacted, but you get the point.
Sooner or later one of you will get frustrated with the lack of sex or too much of it.
Although you can give and receive intimacy in many ways, big differences in the interests of your sex life will not give you the relationship compatibility you aim for.
Values
We’re going out of the bed and stepping into the real world.
Values are essential for the consistency of any relationship.
Let’s say that you’re always late for your dates, dinner arrangements and everything else in your life. If your partner is like most of the people, he or she will tolerate it for a while. However, sooner or later he/she will get very annoyed by it, and the reaction will surprise him/her as much as it will surprise you.
The reason? A different value of time. For you, the timing is not as important as it is for your partner. But your loved one may get offended and take it as disrespect (which by the way is not very far away from the truth).
A more significant value example is when it comes to commitment and monogamy. If your partner’s values about those two things are different from yours, your relationship compatibility goes in the bin right away.
Knowing that – make a list of your values and try to find out if you and your partner match them. It will give you much-needed clarity how tuned you two are.
Visions of Your Relationship
Your relationship compatibility depends a lot on your vision of it. Small questions about food preferences and walks in the park or the city centre may give you some idea, but they’ll just scratch the surface.
Ask for a clear vision of your future life.
• Do you prefer the wife to be stay-at-home-mom or the husband to be the major part when it’s about household?
• Do you believe that both of you can chase careers and raise children or one of you has to hold their dreams for a few years?
• Do you value quiet Saturday night at home or your weekend goals are at least few clubs and parties?
• Do you both want to have children soon or one of you feels that this lifestyle is not what he/she needs?
Having common visions of life and relationship will help you feel the harmony.
Your relationship happens every day, and its core is in the small things. These little things are your visions of how your life should look like. So, do your visions match?
How Do You Fight?
The way you deal with the conflicts in your relationship could tell you more than enough about your compatibility.
The real test about your relationship is when the conflicts come.
• How do you handle them?
• How do you handle yourself?
• How do you approach the situation?
• Do you still care for each other when you deal with the thunders?
• How about the level of respect? Does it go down or it’s still there?
A woman that cannot control her emotions and tend to act almost crazy when there’s a conflict wouldn’t make a good impression on a man who never liked yelling and believes it’s pointless and offensive.
Throwing plates and knives is not a good tactic as well, even if the rest of the time this “fighter” is the sweetest and calm human being ever.
Manipulating the conversation in a direction that’s a well-planned trap is the attitude you wouldn’t enjoy much.
Analyse your arguments. Are you too aggressive toward each other? Do you still respect the other’s opinion? Are you willing to compromise in the name of the happiness or the other always insists on being “his way”?
Arguments are part of every relationship. Even if you didn’t have them till now, they’d come. Moreover, the way you go through them will define your relationship compatibility.
Dreams
Everyone has dreams. And no, your dreams shouldn’t be the same!
But what should match is your will to support each other in achieving them. Make it clear what you wish to achieve, a plan how to get where you want to be and motivate each other along the path to that place.
But they should be compatible.
Is your biggest dream to travel around the world and never settle at one place? Well, I hope your partner loves planes than! Because if he or she dreams of a career in a local company, someone will be disappointed.
Do you see yourself as people that could match your dreams in a way nobody’s dream gets hurt? Your happiness is equally important and making our dreams come true is a major part of it.
With that in mind, revise your dreams. Play that game:
Be sure you know what you want in life and ask your partner about his/her dreams. And by “dreams” I mean everything you actually want to achieve one day. Compare them, and play them out.
Talk how your life would look like if all of your dreams were to come true.
• What difficulties would you have?
• How would a day of your life look like?
• What would you do after you achieve all of your dreams?
By doing that something magical will happen. You will find out or will have:
– Unobstructed view of what the other wants in life.
– Finding out if he/she has an actual plan to achieve these goals.
– Are your dreams really compatible?
– Do you need to compromise something big or small?
– Are you willing to make that compromise?
– Is the other willing to compromise on something?
– Do you see it as it can actually happen?
Money
Same value for money? Now, that’s relationship compatibility you should have. If one of you is irresponsible and doesn’t care how much their credit score is, I hope you’re on the same page.
Money is essential for your well-being. The way you deal with them shows the way you deal with most of the important things in life. Responsibility, care, planning, self-control and wish for success.
It’s not about how much you or your partner earn. It’s about how you see it spent.
Regarding money spending and managing finances, we all learn as we live. However, some people don’t want to learn while others love to challenge themselves and explore the world’s possibilities.
Differences in the way you deal with money are not severe. Moreover, the people that know what they do with their incomes are less than the people that have no clue what’s going on.
It’s the will for change. Moreover, it’s the action that comes with that will. If you are approaching your bank accounts in different ways, and that bothers you – do something about it as early as possible. One day you’ll be happy you did it.
Connection
Last, but not least.
I see this part as almost a rhetorical question – an unnecessary one.
A Chinese proverb says that an invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.
Measuring your connection with your significant one is similar to that thread. It’s the invisible touch of each other’s souls. The feeling that yes – you can be you, and he/she can be him/herself.
You can sit and honestly talk about things that bother you – regarding your relationship, work or anything else?
You cannot explain it, and definitely cannot understand it. But it’s there, and you know it.
The connection of a touch that gives you more power than any motivational talk or an inspirational quote…
The knowledge you can trust, rely on and offer that Love you feel for each other…
The power that grows inside of you, not because something’s changed but because together you’re the same as you were before that – simply you.
Is that true love?
… or just another rhetorical question to your relationship compatibility.
[Read 15 False Soulmate Signs]
Can You Find True Love without Relationship Compatibility?
Hi there, my name is Rachel, and I am a relationship blogger. DoctorForLove is my place to help people to find true love, recognise it and keep it as strong and amazing at it should be. Inspired by my own love story and the stories of many people around me, I believe we always have the right ingredients to find and keep what should be ours. The best part of it – I love to share the ways to do it.
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