Survive Infidelity: 5 Essential Tips to Suffer Less, Live More
“Will I survive the affair? Can I end this misery?”
You’ve probably all asked yourselves this, haven’t you?
I’ve been there. I wondered how I would survive. Truth is even after she left I still find ways to survive the pain. Just like me, you went through some of the same stages of experiencing your spouse’s affair. Right after you found out what were some of your first thoughts?
What happens if he doesn’t stay? Will there be blue skies again?
- I thought to myself, “What did I do to deserve to be cheated on?
- Am I a bad husband?
- Am I not a man?
- Was I not providing enough for her?
- Will she leave?
- Will I be alone?
- Am I even worthy of being with someone?
- What happened to other people that were cheated on?
- Did they survive infidelity?
You had the same thoughts, didn’t you?
Now you know one thing. You are not alone. And even though your heart may forever bear the scar of the pain that your betraying spouse caused you, there is hope. And not only is there hope, but you might just become a stronger more self-sufficient person after the dust settles and the sky opens back up again.
So I have some good news and bad news for you? Which do you want first?
The Good News: Some Survive Infidelity.
Alright, I will start with the good news. There are guaranteed ways to survive infidelity and get over your cheating spouse’s affair. In fact, I have some of those tips right here. The key to surviving infidelity revolves around taking ownership of your thoughts and feelings, proactively guiding your own emotional outcome.
The Bad News: Some Do NOT Survive Infidelity
Some people do not survive. They cannot muster the strength to face the challenge of dealing with the pain and tweaking their views. They will always be victims of reactive thinking by permitting others to dictate how they think and feel, or worse yet, judging themselves based on others’ actions.
For example, thinking “He cheated on my; therefore, I must be an unattractive and worthless person.” To think that way temporarily is one thing, but to never realize it is your choice to believe it will lock you in an emotional shackle forever.
Please understand there is no one way to survive infidelity. For me personally, I got strong quickly by applying many different techniques, not just one. And there is no particular order, at least for me there wasn’t.
5 Essential Tips to Survive Infidelity Now
1. Recognize Spouse As Broken
It’s easy to blame yourself for his affair, isn’t it? You did it. I did it. Everyone does it. But it is not your fault. Cheaters love to justify their cheating. They love to give reasons for their betrayal.
It’s easy for them to paint a picture of how their marriage is different, how their marriage is harder than average. That gives them a real, true reason to cheat.
This is just to save face, a pathetic attempt to protect their image to others, or self-image.
All marriages are difficult. Since when was that news? Two people are not meant to agree on everything and believe the same way.
It was their choice to cheat rather than face the challenges head on. Cheaters are birds with broken wings. Once I realized it was my wife’s inability to handle the differences in our marriage and relationships tough challenges, it put her affair into perspective and I immediately stopped wondering what I did wrong.
It was their choice to cheat rather than face the challenges head on. Cheaters are birds with broken wings. Once I realized it was my wife’s inability to handle the differences in our marriage and relationships tough challenges, it put her affair into perspective and I immediately stopped wondering what I did wrong.
2. Find a Support System
Although your friends, family or even therapist cannot make the decisions for you or make you start thinking positively, they can provide moral support and a sense that you are not alone in this world.
Anyone who has gone through being cheated on experiences the feeling of abandonment, like you were dropped in the middle of a dark forest with no idea how to get out.
Your support system will give you a temporary boost of energy and confidence to move forward while you heal and get stronger.
3. Create Plan B
Yes, I understand you would like for things to go back to normal, but they won’t. There is a good chance you will patch things up enough with your spouse and stay together, but what’s important now to survive infidelity is dealing with what you can control. So in the event things do not work out, you have a back-up plan.
What will you do if you leave your spouse? (Yes, notice how I said you leave your spouse, not the other way around).
What were some of those goals you sacrificed in order to be with your spouse? What are some of those dreams you have abandoned? Or simply what is a safe plan to allow you to start fresh?
You cannot live for your spouse (or anyone else), maybe with them, but your life cannot revolve around someone else or you will be disappointed more times than not and you will most likely not survive infidelity.
4. Belief In The Greater Cause
It might be difficult to live day-to-day right now, but if you can get by and survive infidelity you will be a source of inspiration to others that struggle with cheating in their relationships.
To live for a greater cause gives you a purpose to keep moving forward. Your cheating spouse made a decision that you can’t do anything about, but you can make a decision to help someone in need later. Once you recognize that the affair is part of something bigger it lessens the blow of the pain.
5. Protect Your Attitude and Confidence
If your emotional strength depends on what others say and do then you will routinely be disappointed. People will and always have done what is best for themselves. Realize that you too could have cheated various times, but you didn’t.
Don’t forget that you too went through many rough times in your marriage, but you took the high road and remained faithful. Depression and long suffering are your enemy. You have a choice to make, let your cheating spouse’s actions defeat you or choose to deny misery to enter through your front door.
The bottom line to survive infidelity is to realize you are the only one you can depend on in the end to stop the pain. Your spouse just doesn’t have the character you thought they had and no one is going to swoop down from the sky and save you.
Please don’t miss out on these other 5 crucial ways I learned to survive infidelity
This Book Helped Me Get Strong Quickly and Survive Infidelity
Only you can make the decision how to deal with your spouse’s selfish choice, but a support system does provide you strength in some cases real answers to real problems. This marriage crisis book helped me take control of my own thoughts and emotions and lessen the pain of my wife’s emotional affair. The author’s website has a lot of essential tips how to survive your relationship challenges.
Read what advice this online therapist who has helped resurrect hundreds of marriages in turmoil suggests. Click button below for more information.
“Yes, I want to Save My Marriage”
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